


Take A Break

by jojotier



Category: Homestuck
Genre: (but only a bit) - Freeform, 6/12, Birthday, Bureaucracy, Earth C (Homestuck), Established Relationship, Feel-good, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gentleness, Humor, Kissing, M/M, Post-Canon, Post-Sburb, Post-Sburb/Sgrub, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Wriggling Day, dave saves karkat dw, i legit cannot emphasize how fluffy this is, its already
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-13
Updated: 2018-06-13
Packaged: 2019-05-21 16:51:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14919218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jojotier/pseuds/jojotier
Summary: Karkat tries to work on his own wriggling day and Dave isn't having it.





	Take A Break

**Author's Note:**

> fucking superb you funky little crab man

A young troll sits at a desk in an office somewhere remote. It just so happens that today, the twelfth bilunar perigee of the sixth dark season’s equinox, is the day of this young troll’s larval awakening, also known as his wriggling day. Though it was 9 sweeps ago that he was given life, it is only today that he will probably dive ass first into the watery, disease-ridden stool of BUREAUCRACY.   
  
Well, not only today- Karkat’s been at this gig for a good quarter of a sweep, and if he had his way, he’d be spending the rest of this insipid dawn finishing up the veritable mountainous crest of the wave of continuous chitin filled molten excrement that took the form of at least thirty different executive orders and committee approvals.   
  
Being the leader of an entire Kingdom (technically with like three others, really by himself because the other three couldn’t be trusted with paperwork if their firstborn writhing shitscreamer ended up being made entirely out of looseleaf) meant that Karkat was a busy troll- but it also meant that the things were running smooth as clockwork outside the doors of this shitty little hidey hole he called an office. Which, really, was worth it, in the end. At least the people out there actually appreciated his efforts, nowadays.   
  
He’d get this done really quickly, and then get into bed. Sure, he promised himself this like five hours ago too, but this time, it’s for real.  
  
Karkat squints at a dense little packet slingshotting between twenty different thesauruses and viewpoints, trying to compile a three years’ long debate over whether or not schoolfed wrigglers needed to be fed just one language or all three common tongues (standard Trollian, human English, and Carpacian commonspeak) all at once into something that Karkat could make heads or tails of. Jesus, couldn’t these people just give this sort of thing a rest already? Wrigglers were more self-sufficient then they might look, and trilingualism-  
  
Then just like that, his attention is torn away by a loud as fuck squeal going off in one ear, slithering through his auditory sponge and ricocheting around his thinkpan at high velocity. He shrieks, head whipping around to find his insufferable infatuation floating there, holding one of those miniature cardboard disappointments of noisemakers (Karkat didn’t know the name, and surprise surprise, doesn’t give a single shit).  
  
“Happy birthday, babe.”

Karkat glowers, eyes narrowing into thin lines as he grits out, “It was plenty fucking happy, Dave, until you used Satan’s bondage horn to give me a miniature cardiovascular rupture!! What the fuck man?”  
  
“Hmmm, don’t look too happy to me,” Dave says nonchalantly, turning himself upside down in mid-air to rest on some invisible bed with his head hanging off the edge, embodying every melodramatic adolescent film female in the midst of some fainting fit due to quadrants yet undecided, “Really it just kinda looked like your eyebrows were burrowing partially into your flesh. I was up here gettin’ scared that those fuzzy little caterpillars had a motherfuckin’ hunger that no amount of watercolor still life fruits could fulfill, while you were down here apparently trying to tear up this packet with those sharp pupils alone.   
  
You should thank me- now that orphanage or whatever waiting for approval will still get to see the venerable gaze or our gorgeous leader and his trophy boyf.” He doesn’t even finish the fucking word. He just shortens “boyfriend” to “boyf”, something that Karkat may have gotten used to, but sure as fuck isn’t going to stop looking at Dave with pure disdain for. Especially now, at fuck all in the morning.

“I have to approve some more shit for the country that, you know, we run?? That country??? The one we’ve been running for years.” Karkat huffs, trying to turn back to the matter at hand. Then the matter isn’t at hand anymore, because Dave has the matter he fucking needs in his goddamn paws. “HEY!!! What the fuck?!”

“Nope, not now you don’t.” Dave says, gently bopping the paper against the troll’s hair. Karkat tries to reach up and grab it, but Dave is too quick to float up out of reach. “It’s your wriggling day, dude- you can’t do things on the anniversary of your birth or hatching or whatever- that’s like, mondo illegal.”

“Dave, get your juicy branded ass back down here you hat’s rival ass!!” Karkat tries to hop up on his chair to reach the jackass (still in those god awful fuzzy neon pink pajamas that have JUICY stamped across the ass of the booty shorts in gaudy gold lettering, complete with garters and knee high fuzzy socks built into those god awful shorts), but Dave floats across the room and places the paper all the way up on the ceiling fan.

“Okay, now I will.” He floats back down, and Karkat has to hold back an especially loud and long suffering growl. “Now c’mon, you gotta have a nap and sleep in- that’s the wriggling day way.”

“I don’t give a flying shit in the wind about my wriggling day!!” Karkat says, clicking unhappily. “The kingdom doesn’t stop being a thing just because I turn a little older, you peach fuzzed up bastard!”

“Aw but dude, this is like, prime romcom stuff I got all up and planned,” Dave whines, floating over Karkat’s head and leaning his face down to bring them both nose to nose. “Cuddles and bed and breakfast and like, probably some comedic shenans behind the scenes that result in a couple broken wrists and a lawsuit waiting for the producer. It’ll be fun.” He leans forward and pecks Karkat on the mouth, and it takes all of Karkat’s willpower not to melt a little. The bastard’s laying it on thick because he knows it gets to Karkat- he won’t back down.

“No. I need to work like an actual fucking adult!” Karkat says, stomping his foot in a totally adult way and nearly slipping off of the chair ass first in a display of totally adult wisdom. “It’s just this last thing, and then I was gonna nap for a bit-”

The door creaks open a bit and Dave whistles. “Nice- right on time. Can’t expect anything less from the Mayor, though.” The Mayor walks in, Mayoral Sash following his gleaming pitch black complexion out of retirement to walk up to Karkat’s desk and wave. “Hey there man- thanks for comin’ in.”

The Mayor gestures in a way that denotes that he finds it to be no trouble, as the greatest reward is simply helping to maintain the careful cogs of democracy. When it comes to the service of the masses, no humbler Vagabond can be found to be the loyal servant and attendant of that public which finds its footing in the great halls of CIVILIZATION. What a leader. What a Mayor.

Mollified, Karkat sinks back down into his seat, stewing for a moment. “But I need to…”

“Nah.” Dave says, finally lowering himself to stand on his own two feet on the ground. He leans over the back of Karkat’s chair, resting a hand on one sweatered shoulder. “The Mayor’s got this- that’s why I called him in. Figured you wouldn’t be so batshit off the handle if we had someone who knows what the fuck he’s doing at the helm for now.”

Karkat stews for a moment more before heaving a long sigh and muttering, “Yeah, alright- guess you got me there.”

“Damn straight I did.” Dave says smugly, and Karkat’s arm shoots up to grab the collar of his stupid pajama top and kiss the dumb smug look right off of him. After that’s done, Karkat stands, looking to the Mayor.

“Alright, so there’s about fifteen executive orders that need counsel- even if war’s been abolished, get that militia in order anyway. The Tribute and Tith Tribune needs some guidance over what charities are on the blacklist with the shitty goddamn fraud in the past f-”

“Okay babe, I think he’s got this.” Dave says, sweeping Karkat off of his feet and starting to float towards the door. “Bedtime.”

“Wait!!! I haven’t even given a run down of the state of the economy-” Karkat struggles a little in his hold but Dave just keeps floating his happy ass away, with the Mayor waving at the both of them. Once they’re out the study and going down the hall, Karkat goes as limp as a ragdoll over Dave’s shoulder and sulks, making a sour face at the floor.

Dave floats his way into their room, finally releasing his hold on Karkat once he can drop down onto their shared spring platform. Karkat bounces slightly and then groans, leaning himself back and basically melting into the comfortable sheets. “This is so fucking unfair… This dumb spring platform is gonna make me fall into a voluntary coma one of these days, with how absurdly comfortable it is.”

“Well, that’s the plan for the next few hours.” Dave says, lowering himself on the bed next to Karkat. “But sit up a second babe- just one more thing before we hit the hay and snooze the day away like a couple black out drunks after the party of the fucking millenium on Will Smith’s private rap powered boat in the sky.”

Karkat groans even louder and manages to sit up, even if it means his posture is slumped worse than a wriggler asked to eat their greens. Then, Dave uncaptulogues a single, silver frosted chocolate cupcake, still with candle alight. Karkat glances back at Dave, who coughs a little. “There’s more in the kitchen for later- but I figured that it’d be cool for you to start off with a wish first thing, since you spent all night on whatever bureaucratic bullshit you willingly were spelunking into.”

“… Thanks.” Karkat takes the cupcake, leaning over to kiss Dave on the cheek. “You sappy asshole.”

“It’s no problem, shithead.” Dave says, leaning closer to accept Karkat giving him another kiss. “… But you should probably blow that out, before you get our bed lousy with wax or some shit.”

“Alright, alright- don’t you fucking rush me. It’s not like we’re short on time.” Karkat manages to snicker a little at that as Dave sighs dramatically, banging his head against the headboard.

“I might just have to leave you for that one.”

“You wouldn’t be able to handle a fucking day without my dumpster fire of a life raging in your life.”

“Alas, I know it to be true- I am an incredibly sexy, fuckable Mothman, attracted to the pure flame of wrath burning eternally at your insides. And I’m a romantic to boot. The Casanova- is me.”

“You wish- the only sweeping you’re doing is the ashes from the fire that’s constantly blowing smoke up your ass.” Karkat rolls his eyes and just blows out his candle, saving their shared sleeping bungalow the torrent of colored wax.

Karkat’s gaze catches Dave’s eyes on him out the corner of his eye, just watching for a moment. He looks back at Dave, eyebrows raising. “What’s with the look, Strider?”

“I was just thinking,” Dave says, leaning in, “that you have a dumb, soft mouth that I wanna be kissing. Preferably for the rest of forever.”

“Well,” Karkat’s ears go red, “what’s stopping you?”

“Fuckin’ nothing.” Dave says, pressing another kiss to Karkat’s mouth. Karkat kisses back, eyelids fluttering shut as his mouth moves against Dave’s for a moment.

When they pull away, Karkat replies with a stupid little smile, “Damn straight.”

“Not in this house.” Dave ends up smiling too, and then the both of them are smiling stupidly.

“Thank god for that.”

“Thank god for that… and happy birthday to him.”

**Author's Note:**

> Probably a lil late with this but !!! I hope you enjoy in any case ! and happy wriggling day to Karkat <3


End file.
